Growing up, my path to this role was inconceivable. My dad was a psychoanalyst; intensely intellectual and militantly anti-spirituality. I adopted his view that Dr. Sigmund Freud knew everything there is to know about living a happy life.
But from ages 12-23, my life was illness-ridden and extremely challenging due to an undiagnosed genetic condition.
In 1988, a year after graduating from Harvard, my resistance collapsed. I fell into a severe, unrelenting depression. Talk therapy, which I had also done in college, did nothing.
Mercifully, I found successful treatment and finally felt “normal.”
But "normal" seemed to mean riding an emotional rollercoaster driven by events, outcomes and circumstances with almost everyone else.
So, alongside a career in communications and an eventual family life, I explored how people worldwide pursued better than normal – lasting peace and happiness – through mindfulness, meditation, yoga, positive psychology, ancient spiritual teachings and more.
It gave me more ups than downs on the emotional rollercoaster. But it was an unremarkable hobby. Then...
On a November Sunday in 2008, I had a mind-bending, spontaneous transformation that medical science can’t explain. And I’m a fan of medical science.
I was doing a relaxing, self-created “driving meditation.” For safety reasons, I don’t recommend it!
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My peripheral vision eyed the white safety line. I envisioned the vast number of events and people who had to come together for it to be there.
When I looked up, the world seemed to blossom into vivid colors. Even lampposts and road signs seemed vibrant and alive. I felt a deep sense of peace and oneness with my surroundings. Something had shifted; I wasn't sure what.
Within 48 hours, I realized that a lifelong, abnormal, disruptive stress condition in my heart had vanished. It never returned.
Even more bizarre, when I focused on an object, I felt a pressing sensation between my eyebrows and that sense of peace and oneness with the space around it.
The eyebrow center is significant in some Eastern traditions. I learned that it's associated with deeper states of consciousness, wisdom, intuition and more.
THAT got my attention. I thought, "Maybe I should take this hobby a little more seriously."
When I remembered to focus on objects, it worked every time. But that was only now and then.
For nine years, I spent every spare moment studying spirituality and wellness. I tried seemingly every practice under the sun that I hadn’t already tried, and revisited mindfulness and yoga. I practiced another self-created meditation, which I occasionally still do.
By 2017, I felt great. I left Corporate America to take over MeaningOfLife.com, where I started a popular workshop. But I still didn’t have a magic bullet for lasting peace and happiness.
One day, I came across videos of the simplest Yogic tradition. I watched in disbelief. “Thirty years. I thought I had seen it all," I told myself. "How did I miss this? It's so simple, powerful and... obvious."
What I teach – Reverse Mindfulness for Lasting Happiness – is loosely derived (and optimized for Western professionals) from the Yogic tradition of “Self-Inquiry” (aka the “Direct Path”).
The basics of Self-Inquiry and Reverse Mindfulness for lasting happiness are ultra-simple. Reverse your attention; that is, pay attention primarily, not to what you're aware of, but what is aware of it -- awareness itself.
Self-Inquiry can feel a bit advanced and intellectual for a mainstream audience. Reverse Mindfulness is the simplest, most practical adaptation I'm aware of.
Reversing attention is taught in numerous ways worldwide. It’s growing geometrically, strongly contributing to the disruption of mindfulness.
Some prominent teachers, including Deepak Chopra, are increasingly incorporating reversing attention and promoting Self-Inquiry teachers. Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now, says that a founder of Self-Inquiry is one of his two greatest inspirations.
Reversing attention did more for me in a few months than everything I had done for 30 years. I could take almost anything in stride. Fear, stress and anxiety increasingly fell by the wayside. Serenity and fulfillment no longer depended on events, outcomes and circumstances. I didn't need an alarm clock because enthusiasm got me out of bed.
These days, I have my moments. But that sense of oneness, which is the essence of love, with people and my surroundings is primarily and automatically how I experience life. It’s called "non-duality." It’s beyond description, but not beyond anyone’s reach.
Now and then, I do open-mic stand up comedy, because "life is too important to take too seriously."😊 In this role, I try to keep audiences smiling.
My kids and I have more laughs than ever. Most importantly, when we talk, they know my mind isn’t somewhere else.
I believe that within a few decades, reversing attention will become more prevalent than mindfulness.
It's easier, faster, 100% portable and requires no meditation (many mindfulness programs do). It gets us to lasting peace and happiness much faster, and works wonders on stress, worry and negativity.
Mindfulness practitioners don't have to choose! Reverse Mindfulness for Lasting Happiness is a GREAT complementary practice, not just an alternative.
I encourage anyone who thinks we don't need to disrupt our approach to mental health and emotional well-being to look around. Watch the news. See how their friends and loved ones feel. Assess whether companies, institutions and governments are serving the greater good. Ask if that's good enough.
Under the radar, a solution has been working for thousands of years. It’s time we pay attention to it.
As a wellness professional and educator with multiple certifications, four-time Ironman triathlete Julie Lichty Balay has spent 20 years helping and inspiring people to live healthier, more active lives. She is the owner of JLB Nutrition, where she provides individual and group nutrition counseling programs that integrate nutrition, education, behavior modification techniques and regular exercise. She helps many clients with eating disorders and morbid obesity. Julie is an Assistant Professor at Montclair State University, where she teaches several courses including Sports Nutrition. She is one of only 600 Board certified sports dietitians in America. She is a Registered Dietitian and holds an MS degree in Clinical Nutrition from New York University. Julie lives in New Jersey.
For 22 years, Dawn was a successful entrepreneur, running a communications company serving the music industry, with clients such as the Rolling Stones, U2 and Madonna. For eight years, Dawn owned a spa in Oldwick, New Jersey dedicated to creating mind, body and spirit wellness. At age 44, Dawn, a mother of two, tragically lost her husband. Today, she is the Founder and President of A New Dawn Enterprises, a multi-media company dedicated to helping people heal from the symptoms of loss, transition through the grief process in a more loving and effective way, and celebrate life. Dawn was featured in the bestselling book Saturday Night Widows, which chronicled discoveries about being transformed by adversity, new experiences, humor, and friendship. She appeared on CBS This Morning and Katie. Dawn lives in New Jersey.
Holly is a retired public school counselor who spent 23 years dedicated to the welfare and advocacy of students in grades K-12. After the Columbine High School shootings and 9/11, Holly, a Colorado resident, served as Head of Crisis Management for secondary schools in Summit County Colorado. She founded several middle-school, theme-based counseling groups, such as divorce, friendship skills and anger management. She also wrote school-wide educational plans for developmentally disabled students. Holly is a devoted Buddhist and mentor of Buddhist counselors who is well-versed in mind-body practices across several spiritual traditions. She holds a BS degree in Education from Ohio University with a major in Social Psychology, and a master’s degree in Counseling from Western State Colorado University.